I'm sure my photo for today is startling and you wonder why I would post it for all to see.
This was my submission last night for our Faith based Zoom photo club
We were to do a self portrait that describes us , something about us. Taking photos of one's self is difficult and a bit scary. A Self Portrait is more THAN a selfie. Its a portrait, not a snapshot.
I wanted my photo to be RAW because this is the way my friend's Alzheimer's disease affects me.
Her memory is gone as is most of our friendship of 60+ years.
The anger and distrust that wells up in her is so out of character, the things she says to her daughter Karen and to me sometimes hurt us way down deep inside...She doesn't remember what she said as soon as its out of her mouth., but the pain lingers on us.
I feel I am aging more quickly and becoming a bit more anxious - issues in our own life and being her care-giver sometime each week.
There is a deep sadness over watching Lynne disappear before my eyes.
I often don't want to do this any more but it seems the Lord has said that I am to keep on keeping on...like in the book of Esther in the Bible.."For such a time as this". This is my service and my ministry now. All I can say is Yes Lord....
I know I have said so much of this before, but this is how I presented my submission to the group. It was well received and most people submitted their own photos and were very transparent too. Trust and transparency build very strong relationships whether local or across the USA.
9 comments:
you are brave and i have deleted 87 thousand photos like this one. the thing is, the real you is almsot always a big smile and the smile changes every thing. good job showing how you feel and have the guts to post it.... i could not do what you do, the sitting I mean. hugs and hope today you are back to smiling ... caregiving drags a person down. dementia drags others down more than the person who has it, they don't know they have it or care. that is why they live so long. no worries, just worries for others. If I could i would leave instructions for me to be put down like i would my dog. but then the peron who did it would be in trouble.
Oh my, I am so very sorry. This portrait is a masterpiece of sorrow and defeat. But God is never wrong.
Well, I love this photo. We are who we are and must accept it on the most basic level. I think social media makes us thing things must be perfect, but life is not like that. Kudos to you!!!!
It has to be hard to see your friend disappear before your eyes. How fortunate she is to have such a loving friend!
I certainly feel what you are portraying. My insides turn for you. You are doing a wonderful service however. :(
Sue in the raw! Because I know you...I could see beyond the tire, weary and face that showed where we are in this journey of life. I could see my sweet, smiling Sue underneath.
As a photo ~~ surburb! So full of meaning and the rawness of life.
Love you sweet Sue.
Havent' posted for a while, down with a cold! Ugg!
A great portrait showing so much emotion and telling a story.So sad to see a friend go like that. My mother suffered from dementia and she said awful hurtful things to me but I was lucky to have a talk with the matron in charge of mum's retirement place. She told me this person isn't your mother any more. She has gone. This person looks like your mother but she isn't.Greive now. It was so helpful because when mum said bad things I would say to myself this isn't mum.
I totally understand your feelings. I'm back up helping with my brother in law who has Alzheimers. It's been a year this month when I was last up here for a couple months. She passed from two strokes. Ken is 83 and really doesn't know who I am and at least in the moment he has fun. I take him out looking for faces in rocks and trees. He loves that. It's exhausting though but I felt my niece and her husband who still have full time jobs needed a break. I'm in my third week here but will finally go home Saturday.
My mother in law had Alzheimer disease and my husband, my brother in law and me took care of her for a long time, at about ten years...Difficult time ... I miss her. She died in 2020 , she was 90 years old.
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