The past few weeks I have been spending more time than usual doing care-giving for my friend Lynne.
Her other care-giver had a cold so I filled in.
Alzheimer's is awful and her's is rapidly progressing.
Yesterday went fairly well but after she took a little snooze things got more confusing for her.
She went from knowing me to constantly asking who I was and did I come there often.
The repetition is wearing to say the least. Her reach for simple words is getting more difficult too.
After being on the "merry-go-round" of the same questions of who I was and where we were, she asked me " So.... Who Do You SLEEP WITH ?".....
I have to admit I was quite taken back at the question. What I think she meant was
who do I live with ...meaning am I married and who is he.
Lynne has known my husband longer than I have known her (me..62 years).
I believe its been 64 for Dave and She. No memory of him or any of that time.
Sigh, it hurts my heart.
Her question gave me a bittersweet smile though. Life goes on and I will be back there on Sunday. I pray for patience and try to be inventive with my conversations and songs we sing.
11 comments:
Hello,
You are kind to spend time as a care-giver for your friend, patience is needed for the Alzheimer's patients. My father and my husband's aunt had the same disease, it is sad when they no longer know who you are. Bless you for helping and being kind. Thank you for visiting my blog. Have a great weeked.
After my sister's passing when I had been at her house in San Luis Obispo, while she was in the hospital and in rehab i was taking care of my brother in law. Every day I would ask him do you know who I am - and he usually said no. I made sure I took him for walks every day mostly for my benefit to get out of the house and cooking for him, ...i would get him to find faces in tree trunks. This kept him happy as a little kid and he would be so excited to point out the faces he would see. I had almost three months there and I can tell you it is exhausting for sure. It's so nice of you to help with her. She may not know it but somewhere inside she feels safe and cared for, I'm sure about that. When Ken would have lucid moments he was nonstop thanking me for being there.
You are her angel. I believe your caregiving is God's plan for both of you.
God bless both of you, Sue!
God bless you, Sue, as you bless Lynn!
It's not easy to see the decline....
try showing her photos, from your phone or computer. I used to print my photos and put in a album to walk around the halls of the memory unit. they loved flowers, anything, once a photo of a horse sent her into a long story of the horse in their house and the german shepherds, she talked for 10 minutes. it stirs memories . also, turn the question back to her, like who do you sleep with or what ever she asks, once she starts talking just listen, it will give a break from the quesions. also, if she says strange things go into her world and pretend you know what she means. like daddy said, where is Jack? that was his brother. I said why, he kept trying to get up to go find Jack. I said Daddy I will go tell Jack what you want to say and I got up and came back and said I told him. these are just examples. they taught me to go into their world, not try to explain who we are or make sense of what they say.
I am nominating you for Sainthood. you deserve it
When I sat with my BF, Gweny, she'd ask the same questions...but what everyone was amazed at, she always knew who I was...even to the end. I miss her terribly.
When she'd get repetitive with her questions, I'd simply agree with her or
I'd ask her if she was thirsty...or hungry. That always helped her "broken record" click on over to a new conversation or just quiet time.
I know your silent pain, my friend...just love her...the end comes too soon.
hugs
Donna
Ugh. Losing my memory is the most frightening thing about getting old and watching others slip away is heartbreaking. I'm so sorry.
Sue you are an angel in Sue skin! Off to church. More later.
You are a brick it isn't easy caring for an alzheimer patient. Such a sad, cruel disease.
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